In the Orbit of Greatness

I am in the orbit of greatness, a fact I have long suspected. I take credit for this in the same sense that the Earth takes credit for orbiting the sun. Nonetheless like the Earth I will bask contendedly in the glow.

I define my perception of greatness thus. Any of you who have been in the car with me, around me and a radio in the morning, afternoon or evening for that matter, will know that greatness means you have appeared on NPR. This morning I was removed from greatness by three steps for the second time. The first was a feature interview with Professor Riley Smith of Cambridge University, whom I have met and was my wifes advisor while at Cambridge. That alone was enough to prompt a call to the ex. This morning marks the second time. After a sleepless night (more on that later) I am in bed, sipping coffee, trying to get the motivation to go to work when morning edition interviews a young Parisian, Clotilde Dusoulier, the author of the blog Chocolate and Zucchini. Now how can I be in the orbit of a young Parisian with a food blog? Well Katherine has a friend Katie with a wonderful blog in the sense of an American in Paris. Having read Katies blog she is flying in the face of her academic critics and is in my opinion, well on her way to her own feature on NPR. Katie linked directly to Miss Dusoulier's blog well in advance of this NPR story. This makes her a WEB Maven (read the Tipping Point people). I claim orbit of such a Maven and thereby Miss Dusoulier, although in the same sense that 2003UB313 claims to orbit the Sun, another feature story on NPR this morning.

Brain Freeze and Thunderstorms

T-1, tomorrow Sophie leaves for Europe. It will be hard to see her go, over the past weeks we have grown much closer and she now opens up to me in a way that before she seemed hesitant to. We talk, meaningfully, I no longer feel like an after thought in her life. I will miss her.

Tonight we had dinner and took her to see some friends, then went to Coldstone for some ice cream. While there, a thunderstorm rolled in so we sat in the car listening to the Gorillas, or more correctly listening to one song over and over and over and over. I turned the car off and we sat together in the dark watching the lightning and listening to the rain. I have always loved storms, an appreciation still lost on my seven year old. But she indulged me with only one question and an its okay daddy. So we sat there quietly with the sound of the storm and the quiet scrape of spoons against Styrafoam, getting ice cream headaches. Then she started telling stupid jokes... Hoorah! an appreciation and a talent! I may yet have an influence and a legacy!

She's getting better though I must say.

What are catapillers afraid of? Dogapillers
What do Sharks eat with peanut butter? Jellyfish!

This and she can recite several Shell Silverstein poems from memory.

So tomorrow I will bundle her off to camp, have my usual day at work, collect her, then deliver her to the ex's parents for her trip. Afterwards I have a bottle of wine and some cheese to enjoy quietly on the deck. If it rains all the better. I'll put a straw in the wine bottle and sit in the rain watching the lightning. After the heat of the past couple of days it will be welcome. I will reflect and I am sure I will find a data point.

Speaking of data points

This is the time of year when in two consecutive years, comrades and good friends of mine were killed in separate aviation accidents, it is an added layer of remorse that comes on these anniversaries. So I will toast to each of them and quietly let them know they are not forgotten. To absent friends...

So enough, August is here the concert season is gearing up and I am hot after some Stones tickets and Greenday as well, will see what My Concierge dregs up tomorrow.

Travel plans are shaping up nicely as well. I have to be in Charlotte for three days of fun in the belle of the south. In Charleston, My buddy Noz is fresh back from a successful summit of the Matterhorn. You bitch! You owe me, so we are going flying! I could use some g's and to watch the world twirl a little bit... Then much drinking in downtown Charleston. September will bring St Louis and with any luck the Cards will be playing while I'm there. That's always a good time.

England in February for a wedding. Just one question here. Who the hell gets married in England in February. Its bloody cold and dark. My buddy Bob that's who, but he's dark and his fiance is well... (Note: In fairness this is not at all substantiated as I've never me the woman, but I thought it might prompt a phone call which no matter how enraged would be better than none at all. While I could Say that his fiance is dark and he is cold.... mmmm see the last post and maybe I'm just not secure enough right now to do that.... One thing she'll have to be is Patient, compassionate, understanding, forgiving, oh wait that's a lot of things)

In other startling developments "Blitz" called out of the blue. I haven't seen him since his wife was pregnant. His daughter is now 13. 13 my god! Good to hear from you bud. It was like we never lost touch. One more guy to call should I ever need help moving a body!

Training for the marathon goes well. 5 miles in 102 heat on Wednesday and 3 in the middle of the day today. News flash folks there is a reason its called Hillsborough!

In relationship news a new one showed up yesterday. I put Sophie to bed and then went and sat on the couch, where she joined me reclined her head in my lap, looked up at me with those big blue eyes as I stroked her soft hair, she stretched luxuriantly, placing one paw on my chest and began to purr.

That's right I am boarding a cat... As cats go this one is not bad, friendly as hell, damn sharp claws though.
I guess I'll be buying mauve and salmon whatever it is next, I can already feel the testosterone fleeing my body....

T-3 and Counting...

It is Wednesday morning and again I am awake for no reason fathomable, rather then elect to lie in bed staring at the ceiling I am up with coffee and NPR and will work out following this post.

What is T-3? Today is Wednesday. Sophie leaves for Europe Friday. I will have the month of August to myself. Super! A chance to get things done, to catch up on a myriad of unfinished projects. Super! A chance to really put my shoulder to the grindstone at work. Super! A chance to work out a lot. Super! I can walk around naked, sleep in, eat whenever and whatever I want. Travel, see friends... Super! I get to walk past the open door to a quiet room with its stuffed animals and its abandoned toys and its empty bed. Super! I don't have to lay next to her and feel her arm around my neck as she falls a sleep and says I love you daddy... Super. I will come home to my now empty house and thrash about with my books and my work not having to go swing or go swimming or play hide and seek or have dessert after brushing my teeth... Super. I don't have to read with her until I fall asleep and she turns out the lights. Super! I don't have to wake her in the morning with my hand on her back sitting quietly while I feel the rise and fall of her breathe until I kiss her and say "sweetheart, its time to get up. To which she groans and stretches and asks "please daddy a few more minutes" Which, no matter how late I always give her. Super! I don't have to listen to her voice, her laughter, her amazement with every new thing she discovers. Super! I don't have to go to friends or birthday parties or play dates or bike riding or kick a soccer ball or do art projects or bake together.

Yep its all just really super and it is a rope that tightens a little bit more each day around my chest. Emotions that I can never let her see. And I don't even to get to make tea or iron shirts in the morning, who'd have thought I would ever miss that, but I do.

Maybe I'll just close the door....

What do we want...

Tonight while watching Mulan with my daughter the characters broke into song as they were heading off to battle. "What do we want? A girl worth fighting for!"

Indeed

It's no fun until someone loses an eye

And as it was, with all those moving parts, bound to happen. And as it was I am glad that someone was me.

Another crap night of sleep down at 1130 last look at the clock 0330 up at 0530. If I have learned one thing in the past six months it is the joy of sleeping in and lounging. A skill I will attempt to perfect this Sunday.

Data Points

Throughout our lives we get data points, most are mundane and soon forgotten, some are forgotten yet form an etching in our subconscious which will shape our behavior in later life. Some are juggernauts, battleships of experience, that upset your world, alter your reality and send you to a rock somewhere for a couple of days to dissect what you just learned about yourself and your world.

So what is a data point. You get a data point the first time you see birth, the first time you see death, the first time you feel love and the first time you feel loss. You get a data point the first time you judge someone by their appearance to your shame. In my life I have had numerous little data points, but in mine as I suspect in most, I can count the juggernauts on one hand.

So this will be about data points, and the day to day events that are life as well. should anyone read, you are welcome to contribute. But primarily this will be of data points in my life, and those close enough to me to be intimate with their souls.