Why I don't wine. Another attempt to avoid the diary blog

Okay I am sick and tired of hearing about Sideways and wine and the fact that the movie gets it. Gets what? Gets that its okay to be a narcissistic underachiever, who over indulges, self indulges and waxes poorly poetic about nirvana in a bottle. That's not art that's addiction. Further, its nothing but a warmed over wine snob version of other wayward boy comes of age movies. But I digress.
My problem is not with wine perse but with the expectations that come with it. If you somehow manage to serve a decent bottle of wine, you are also expected to be able to tell which hand was used to pick the grapes. Fact is, everything I know about wine would fit on the back of a business card and is simply this "Jen Barger, Hillsborough Wine Company."
Want to dazzle your friends, impress the boss, the in laws the new girl or boy friend? I have found this a much much better route to wine aficianadodum (dodum! That ought to be a word of its own!) Simply go see Jen.
To those of you who don't know Jen she is charming, cute and exceedingly knowledgeable about wine. She can determine what to serve with what your eating, why it will work, conversely why what you thought you wanted won't. "And Oompah. Loompah, Dupity Der if you are smart you'll listen to her! (sorry I couldn't find the audio clip before work.)
So I don't feel the urge to go to any special lengths to learn about wine, hell its a full time job on its own and who has the time? I know Jen and I will absorb what I need through osmosis, god knows I buy enough wine from her.
And when asked about the vintage, the year, the vinter, I simply hand out Jen's card and say "Here now you know everything I do, and the difference between you and me is that I'll never worry about it again"

Note to Todd, however much your paying her, its not enough!