Idle Musings

9-11 two election cycles later

2008-09-07T22:42:00.002-04:00

Well here we are almost one full year since my last post. We are not rapidly enough approaching our next election and the end of a seemingly terminal election season. One thing that I think has to be acknowledged regardless of your politics is that no matter the outcome this will be an historic election. We will have either an African American president or a female vice president. I think it a bit of political genius on McCain's part (relax liberals I said political) to select Palin ans his vice. Thereby ensuring the election will be historic. For my part I maintain little faith in either campaign. Obama for all his talk of change prostituted himself to the Chicago political elite to get where he is (post turtle)and McCain as much as I admire and respect his service seems constrained by his political base. Since when did the republican party, the party of get government out of my way become the party of government regulation of morality and who the hell appointed them. Ayn Rand would be spinning!
Seven years after 9/11/2001 we are winning in Iraq although to what end remains to be seen as the Iraqis seem incapable of leading a hill of ants out of a fire with a jar of honey. How hard can it be to build a sewage treatment plant with 8o billion on the books. Which equates to something like a years living wage for every man woman and child in the country? Afghanistan is a fight a good old fashioned street fight. If I was a cynic I would conclude that its Obama's lack of command of the operational level of war that lead him to say that we should be focusing in Afghanistan, never mind that its the success of the surge in Iraq that allows the operational room for maneuver to surge (Obama's words int Afghanistan) and shows his belief that these are two regional conflicts and not differing theatres of the same conflict. Like all powers we are constrained by time space money and assets. Regardless of how we got there, when the heat was on Iraq that theatre had to be stabilized to allow the inevitable and coming surge into Afghanistan. This is not dissimilar to the decision to hold against Japan while defeating Germany.

One Marine's View (Thanks to Petey for sharing)

2007-09-21T21:57:00.000-04:00

Good Morning. Sharing this with you because you need to see the level of genius that is hard at work in your Marine Corps. Larry Adams, the author of this diatribe, got out as a Captain because he didn't like doing sit-ups, but he's an absolute savant. He's profane, sure, but read the points in hereand you'll see that he offers some truly unique insight into what is going on in Iraq. If you
haven't read Hobbes or Locke, you should. Larry gives good Cliffs Notes on both below. Provided for your entertainment and education only. Read with a cup of coffee or something stronger.

Subject: Bile XLII: Hobbes Again

As the Texas Rangers continue to rebuild for the eighth consecutive year (1999 being their last playoff appearance) and with a similar second-division team fighting to stay out of the NL Central basement out in Houston, my thoughts have not been on baseball, strangely enough, even though the bloom of summer nods its weary head at the thought of fall.

My brothers from 2nd Battalion, 7th Marines have returned from Iraq here lately, and though I have seen nothing in the popular media, I hear stories of successful counterinsurgency coming from the mouths of the same people who were, like myself, mired in a crisis of confidence since the end of the Iraqi national elections in October and December of 2006...when we saw
virtually no gains following those auspicious days. It has been difficult to sort through the amalgam of bullshit that we see,
read, and hear each day in order to find a ray of hope. But it is here, and has been happening under the radar for months, unreported by anyone. Tonight, my friends I will do...well, not an end-zone dance...but at least A fist pump. Plus, it will be entertaining for you, because I have the better part of a bottle of Smirnoff's, and a half rack of Uncle Sam to help
me(Sam Adams. He's family. We've met)...and you know how funny I get when I've Set my mind to emptying the liquor cabinet... Ladies and Gentlemen, it's like the burning bush without the ashes, it's... BILE, Volume XLII, The Hobbesian Ooze, and why the media is STILL all fucked up.

1. "Al Asad: home of the Ballsackians"... We're into year four in the big game in Iraq. The late innings, so to speak, with the fans booing the reliever (a right hander named Petraeus), the interim-manager (Secretary of Defense Gates), while screaming for the ouster of the General Manager (Secretary of State Rice), and demanding that the owner (President Bush) sell the team. When suddenly the leadership of the team catches a flight to a road game and meets the pitcher in the dugout during the seventh inning stretch! As the article that I sent out widely last night proclaimed, this road trip was a huge statement of confidence in al Anbar, but for additional reasons that I think the goose-stepping Neo-Con, Mr. Kagan, missed. Consider the job of the Secret Service and CENTCOM in attending to the security of the President during a trip to a war zone. In those jobs, you'll fly him into the most secure place in that country. No? The last thing you want in this war, that has been waged in the press as it has on
the ground, is for the President of the US to get shot the fuck down in a combat zone. Irreparable harm would be done to the entire war-effort. No one could say that they control anything without doubt being cast, ever again. Folks, he didn't land at Baghdad International, where they've got security about 25 levels deep to keep the missileers from shooting down planes,
they landed in fuckin' al Asad. Do ya think that woulda happened in '04? Get a piss test, Jack. Nottafuckingchanceinhell. I couldn't even get a fuckin' Huey pilot to fly over Hit in '04, for Chrissake.

So what does that say about al Anbar in general? It says that the people who watch over the President are more confident in the security being provided by whichever Marine Battalion lives in that shithole right now than we do in the security being provided in Baghdad... (Hey Chicken, what kind of madness would've ensued if we had gotten that FragO from Ripper, to secure the approaches to the airfield in the Ball Sack, IOT ensure the safety of the POTUS? I can just see Kyle Ellison's face now...)
My friends, this is tangible proof that we are winning in al Anbar, the nastiest place in Iraq. Marines were sent there to pacify it, but were told by the embedded media that we hadn't, told that we didn't have a fuckin' condom's chance in a whorehouse of coming out successfully, told that the schism and chaos was too deep. They were wrong then, they're fucking wrong now. The worm is turning. Keep fuckin' reading, I'm on a roll...

2) "Hobbes was NOT a fuckin' tiger in a cartoon, Goddamnit!" As lately as last spring, we heard in Marine circles (by way of the Marine Corps Intelligence Activities) that we would be lucky to get out of al Anbar without singed testicles and a bleeding rectum. Despite the fact that this war, unlike any we have ever fought, has not resulted in the overrunning of any unit larger than a sniper team. Despite the fact that we could go and hold ground pretty much wherever the fuck we want to go and hold ground.
Despite the fact that we continued to learn how to fight a counterinsurgency while maintaining contact with the enemy throughout the entire period. Which bears stark contrast to past wars, where we fight...then learn...then prepare to fight the war we just fought. The reason for this is something that I hinted at several years ago, but didn't realize the full truth of until this week. Thomas Hobbes once argued, following the regicide of English King Chucky Uno by Oliver Cromwell, and the later re-assumption of the throne by King Chucky Dos, that the beginning of human government evolved slowly out of chaos. He called that chaos a "state of nature", and he argued that any people put in a similar situation would opt for the course of action that would ensure
that their family and their possessions would be secure. People in this state of nature, Hobbes claimed, would band together in small, regional groups to form what has been called by Nozick "mutual protection societies". Eventually, those groups would evolve into ever-larger groups until an entire nation (a people distinct) would emerge. Then, by the time that happened, the smaller mutual protection societies would have given up their rights to pursue justice and reciprocity against those who would harm
them in favor of allowing a "Leviathan", or a strong central government, endowed by the Creator to rule, to exact those critical outcomes. Now, Hobbes' argument sought to justify the Devine Right of monarchism, but instead became a treatise on the human condition that is still examined by political philosophers today (many of whom are undergrads and viscerally hate reading 180 pages of prose written in 1651's England). With the exception of the Devine Right of the Maliki Regime, Hobbes predictions
have run true in Iraq.

Follow the bouncing ball.

We went in there in 2003, and pretty much kicked the shit out of any guy who even slightly resembled Keith Hernandez (I still think that Keith was actually Saddam, and is doing "Just for Men" commercials now, while letting some schmuck swing the gallows' pole in his stead. I pause to let all of the non-baseball communists an opportunity to Google Keith Hernandez. After we did all of that, the first report out of Baghdad was of people rioting. Stealing air-conditioners, ripping copper wire out of abandoned government buildings, you name it. We had, at that point, arrived at the place that we avoided in 1990 when we didn't head
north at Udairi, Kuwait...a complete power vacuum. We couldn't speak Iraqi, most of them didn't speak English, and to a guy who lives in fucking Iraq after April, "Stop right there" sounds an awful lot like "steal that
fucking A/C unit with my compliments" in Arabic. Even worse, you had two sides of the population who had been pummeled by the minority since the English bailed out, and were looking to even the score. So you saw what I predicted in May 2003: Picture an Iraqi father, with five or six kids, sitting in his living room with his head in his hands, considering how the fuck he gets the fam through this morass. So he went back to basics, he kowtowed to a local Sheikh who suddenly had his power multiplied by a factor of ten, in the absence of the Hussein Leviathan,and he went and did whatever that Sheikh told him to do. So, that Sheikh
thinks that we'll leave soon after consolidation/Phase III ops, and in order to get us to get out sooner (they saw Vietnam/Beirut/Mogadishu) they started fighting us. Even better, some guy from Jordan, Syria, or East Bumfuck, Egypt came in and tried to help. This douchebag gave him money, guns, and artillery projectiles to make IEDs. Showed him how to rig a device to a cordless phone. The media started showing footage of these fucks blowing us up. The election of last November turned over the Congress to the Pussies (as shall the Democratic party be ever known in this space, my apologies to those who sail in the mainstream of polite society). Everything was on rails. We were running. They were getting press. Beautiful. Then that guy, who in 2003 was sitting with his head in his hands, comes home one night late last year, from a long and dangerous mission of
planting IEDs on an American patrol route, and finds that the guy from East Bumfuck has beaten his wife, put diapers on his sheep, and is threatening him with castration for smoking a shitty, shitty tasting Iraqi cigarette. (Shitty)

So that guy goes to his Sheikh, a man he plighted his troth to, in order to survive, two years ago. He says to him, he says "Hey, the Americans were bad, but at least they didn't eat all the food out of my fridge, beat the shit out of the old lady and run up my long-distance bill. If you can't do something about this, I'm moving to Khalidiyah and getting a job as head sheep rectum checker with Jeremy Sullivan. Oh, by the way, did'ja hear that those assholes banned smoking?"

Now I'm sorry, but I'm gonna do some adjunct to the FM 3-24 Counterinsurgency publication dealing with the whole aspect of smoking cigarettes in the successful conduct of this counterinsurgency, 'cause it's the fucking truth. The Camel that broke the Sheikhs' back in all of this was when the al-Queda fuckheads told the peasantry of Iraq that they couldn't smoke...

Fuck. That.

It was a done deal for al-Queda in Iraq. (Perspective: As disciplined as the Marines serving in defense of this great nation are, I guaranfuckingtee that, were the Commandant, (or more likely, the House under Nancy fucking Pelosi, with the complicity of an
emasculated Senate), to ban the consumption of tobacco, there would be about 173,000 Marines walk off their post as soon as their contract was up.)

The smoking ban by al-Queda was the true turning point. (Any who have been over there can testify that making an Iraqi do without a cigarette for more than thirty seconds is a more difficult than masturbating with your feet.)
That just fucking cut it for the Sheikhs. When faced with an entire constituency demanding to smoke whenever the fuck they want to on one side, and a bunch of inconsistent, hypocritical assholes on the other side...they sat down at their desk and lit up a square, baby.

So these guys sat, and thought, and smoked, and talked to one another. Finally, they realized that we were less malignant to their way of life than these al-Queda assholes. And so they came to the Americans, and pointed out the assholes sitting back at their house, in their easy-chair, with their feet up, smoking a cigarette, watching al Jazzeera on their TV, and hooting like they were on the set of Arsenio Hall.

Suddenly, someone in the upper ramparts of Multi-National Forces, West said, "Hey!" And so, in the majority of al Anbar, we have an acceptable level of violence. My old boss told me last week, regarding Zaidon, one of the nastiest agrarian places in that whole country, that "you could ride a bike through there without fear." Amazing.

So how does the media trumpet this progress? Progress exemplified by 3/7, who deployed to Ramadi for the second time in 18 months? On their last deployment they suffered 22 killed, over 100 wounded, with over 700
incidents in which they declared "troops in contact" (TIC) in their 7 months in the city. Now, it's been 6 weeks since they have had a TIC and they started a soccer league in town. Accident? I don't think so. (Thanks, Boss) Silence in most cases. In others, they argue that this example won't work in other provinces that are not as homogenous as the Sunnis in al Anbar. This is utter bullshit at it's most basest level. (Tell your friends)
Know why? These fuckers are human, just like everybody else, that's why. Even in the Shiite areas, the rejection of the Iran-supported Shiite militias is in the offing. "Why", you ask? A quick quote from an article
that appeared in the Christian Science Monitor:

"In the area near Yusufiyah, Sunnis are coalescing in these groups and, along with the surge of US forces this spring, that has contributed to a decline of attacks across the region by 26 percent, says Army Maj. Gen. Rick Lynch, who commands the 3rd Infantry Division there. He says he believes success in Anbar can translate to Shiite areas, too. 'Just like the Sunni population is tired of Al Qaeda, there are elements of the Shiite population that is tired of [Shiite] ... militia influence,' he says. 'They
just want to be safe.'"

Well. No shit.

The good news is that the Shia are more organized than the Sunni. I asked the Rainman (Joel Iams, intelligence officer, ebullient Heeb, and venerable sage with whom I shared an office for about 2 months during OIF II) "Why is it that when Sistani tells the Shia to 'chill the fuck out' they do it, but the Sunnis won't follow a single leader?" He explained to me, in a one hour lecture in which he cited history dating back to just before the Earth cooled while taking just a single breath, that the Shia are much more structured and will accept the decisions of their senior Imam as the law of the fuckin' land. Which, in my Hobbesian construct, is not fundamentally different, than what happened with the Sunni tribes, just in a more organized manner. Simply put, it was absolutely critical that we pacify the level of violence in Sunni al Anbar before the Shia would believe that they could trust the nascent ubberment that they elected. I predict that Sistani, or his successor, will issue a fatwah to basically "fucking stop this insanity"
so that the leadership of the Iraqi government (who are primarily Shia) can engage with the Sunni and establish the Leviathan. Thus, the "mutual protection societies" band together as a nation, the Iraqis become self determinate, and we can come home with our head high.

3) "$250,000 dollars for sheep-diaper clean up? WTF?" An ancillary contributive point: The most important sentence in the article that I sent yesterday was this one:

"Instead of talking about how to convince the Anbaris that the Sunni will not retake power in Iraq any time soon, Bush, Maliki, Petraeus, Talabani, and Crocker talked about how to get American and Iraqi aid and reconstruction money flowing more rapidly to the province as a reward for its dramatic and decisive turn against AQI and against the Sunni rejectionist insurgency." Since 2003, one of the most frustrating aspects of this counterinsurgency has been the frenetic way that we have spent reconstruction funds, in order to stimulate growth and stability. You figure all of al Anbar equals about 10-12 Marine and Army Battalions (give or take, work with me here).That equals about 10-12 differing attitudes with regards to the priorities of money to rebuild the country that we blew up, because of the different priorities of each battalion commander who occupies his given Area of Operations. And each one of those differing (Marine) attitudes changes every 7 months. (Unless you're 3/4, then it changes every 10 months, and
it sucks being you.) Rainman and I identified this in April of '04, that the two critical disconnects in theater, since we've been fighting this counterinsurgency, has been the lack of continuity with regards to intelligence and a viable reconstruction plan. What you see in the quote above is the inauguration of a fucking continuous reconstruction plan for the entire province...which we have NOT had since the OIF I guys came home in March of '04. Once this begins to spread over the al Anbar province, and is successful, then one-by-one, the other provinces will understand. Shia, Sunni, Kurd. All of 'em.

Then we draw down. Not before, because someone is faced with re-election. Only when we've won. Because SSgt Marvin Best deserves that much. Because SSgt Danny Clay deserves that much. And because 1st Lieutenant Shaun Blue deserves that much.

If Locke was right, and we get the "government we deserve", than it is up to us to talk to as many people as we can, to hold the line, and to push. You. Me. Them. Everybody. Everybody.

Immundus saecula saeculorum,
Unclean

Daughters

2006-05-18T21:31:00.000-04:00

Tonight I sat behind my daughter on her bed, listened to her recount her day then braided her hair as she read. A kiss and good night. How long before the welcome sign on her door changes to no dads allowed?

Cancer

2006-02-07T21:59:00.000-05:00

Cancer is what smokers get, right. Precosious seven year olds are not supposed to get cancer, but get it they do, for ours is not a just nor fair world. My neice of step Olivia, or Liv for short is now wearing much shorter hair, a shunt in her chest; playing xbox and is undergoing chemo for acute Lympoblastic Leukemia.

She is a stubborn girl and strong, she will need to be. Now lets all be strong for her.

A Quick Pick Me Up

2005-12-23T22:16:00.000-05:00

For Koen
Here bud get this out of your head!! For anyone else who might be watching or reading, should you ever need a laugh!! I would write more but after a day of fishing and several Guiness I am ready for bed...

The Wisdom of Ian Fleming

2005-12-22T08:31:00.000-05:00

Ian Fleming the pen of 007 novels also wrote an equally well known book as a diversion although few realize he was the author. That book was Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. A fact I only realized while watching the movie with my seven year old daughter and Papa Alpha. From the kitchen I heard Dick Van Dyke address the female lead as Truly scrumptious. That caused me to poke my head around the corner and then search for the DVD case, wondering who in the hell had the nerve to name a girl Truly scrumptious in 1957. Sure enough Ian Fleming, not only did Fleming write it Benny Hill was a co star. (Cue Benny Hill theme music as I know its in your head now)While the names of 007's leads are notorious, you never hear a peep about Truly scrumptious, as she was cast, the virginal heiress of the scrumptious sweet company, excellent with kids decent looker, singer, always in white and mothering kids who's mother is never mentioned. The father, Dick Van Dyke is an absent minded knock about inventor with few prospects but loves his kids and keeps banging away at this idea or that in his home/workshop/windmill with no success. But Truly has faith in him and eventually he prevails. Amazing what the faith of a Truly scrumptious woman will do for a man eh?

Quote Log

2005-11-27T19:26:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving lends itself to a series of things that can probably only best be said around the holidays. This weekend in addition to yielding one successful deer hunt, an excellent Thanksgiving feast with good friends and good food also yielded several great quotes.
"I fell off my knees"
"I'm putting that whole thing in my mouth"
just to name a few...

I am now actually looking forward to Christmas!

North Korea and other Dilemma of State

2005-11-23T08:56:00.000-05:00

North Korea... Fifty years of utter intransigence. I remember an intel brief received once where a briefer told the following. "To show his benevolence the great leader had a bicycle plant built near a village and gave all the villagers a bicycle. This just prior to a tour of the facility by foreign media. The villagers all wore their pins with the picture of the great leader and proudly pushed their new bicycles all over the village. You see the problem was that none of them had ever owned a bicycle and therefore no one knew how to ride. Such is the regime that now is pursuing nuclear weapons. (no secret this has been going on well before the current administration.) Such also is the regime that continually insists on bilateral negotiations with the U.S. That would be just wonderful as far a North Korea is concerned that allows them to pit themselves against the U.S. mano e mano or Kimche y Kimche (whatever the Korean equivalent is) This further allows North Korea to paint themselves as the poor little underdeveloped country trying to come into the modern era but being kept down by that global bully the U.S. Fortunately the state department is wise to this. Nonetheless this arguement has surfaced several times here in Berkeley east and is what I call the playground argument. The logic goes like this. The U.S. has nuclear weapons therefore who are we to tell anyone else they cant have them. In playground terms. Bobby has a stick, so it's not fair that I don't. The fallacy of such arguments can often be uncovered by carrying them to their extreme. So if Bobby has a stick and its only fair then that I also have a stick, shouldn't everyone have a stick? Or in the terms of the global nuclear playground. The U.S. has the bomb, Russia, France, Pakistan and India all have the bomb, Israel may but they aren't telling, besides they don't tend to play well with others anyway. So therefore shouldn't everyone have the bomb? Brilliant idea! I say the U.S. and Russia both reduce our arsenals by selling at fair market price nuclear weapons to anyone who will buy them. But wait that leaves out lesser developed countries who cant afford the weapon. So in the interest of fairness I say the world bank loan those countries the money to procure such weapons. Then the protesters at fill in the city here ______. Can add that to their list of debts to be forgiven.
There the world is now a much fairer place. I feel safer don't you?
So in effect some of the most educated minds I know are in fact arguing for nuclear proliferation. They don't like being told this very much nor do they like it having pointed out that in their disdain for the role the U.S. plays in the world they have fallen victim to fallacious logic.

In other events of note I can now get my car into my garage. No small feat

Happy Birthday

2005-11-10T22:05:00.000-05:00

The Commandant of the Marine Corps'
2005 Birthday Message

On November 10th, 1775, the Second Continental Congress resolved to raise two battalions of Continental Marines marking the birth of our United States Marine Corps. As Major General Lejeune’s message reminds us, the ensuing generations of Marines would come to signify all that is highest in warfighting excellence and military virtue. Each November as Marines the world over celebrate the birth of our Corps, we pay tribute to that long line of “Soldiers of the Sea” and the illustrious legacy they have handed down to us.

This past year has been one of continuous combat operations overseas and distinguished service here at home—a year of challenges that have brought out the very best in our Corps. In Iraq and Afghanistan, Marine courage and mastery of complex and chaotic environments have truly made a difference in the lives of millions. Marine compassion and flexibility provided humanitarian assistance to thousands in the wake of the South East Asian tsunami, and here at home, Marines with AAVs, helicopters, and sometimes with their bare hands saved hundreds of our own fellow Americans in the wake of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. Across the full spectrum of operations, you have showcased that Marines create stability in an unstable world, and have reinforced our Corps’ reputation for setting the standard of excellence.

The sense of honor, courage, and patriotism that epitomized those who answered that first call to arms two hundred and thirty years ago is still indelibly imprinted on our ranks today. In commemorating our anniversary, let us strengthen our ties to the past by paying homage to those who have gone before us. As we honor the sacrifices of our wounded and fallen comrades, our commitment to one another remains unshakable. We take special pride in the actions of the Marines now serving in harm’s way, and rededicate ourselves to the service of our Nation and our Corps.

Happy Birthday, Marines. Semper Fidelis, and Keep Attacking!

M. W. Hagee
General, U.S. Marine Corps

On November 10, 1775, a Corps of Marines was created by a resolution of the Continental Congress. Since that date, many thousand men have borne the name Marine. In memory of them, it is fitting that we who are Marines should commemorate the Birthday of our Corps by calling to mind the glories of its long and illustrious history.

The record of our Corps is one which will bear comparison with that of the most famous military organizations in the world's history. During 90 of the 146 years of its existence, the Marine Corps has been in action against the Nation's foes. From the Battle of Trenton to the Argonne, Marines have won foremost honors in war and in the long era of tranquility at home. Generation after generation of Marines have grown gray in war in both hemispheres and in every corner of the seven seas [so] that our country and its citizens might enjoy peace and security.

In every battle and skirmish since the birth of our Corps, Marines have acquitted themselves with the greatest distinction, winning new honors on each occasion until the term "Marine" has come to signify all that is highest in military efficiency and soldierly virtue.

This high name of distinction and soldierly repute we who are Marines today have received from those who preceded us in the Corps. With it we also received from them the eternal spirit which has animated our Corps from generation to generation and has been the distinguishing mark of the Marines in every age. So long as that spirit continues to flourish, Marines will be found equal to every emergency in the future as they have been in the past, and the men of our Nation will regard us as worthy successors to the long line of illustrious men who have served as "Soldiers of the Sea" since the founding of the Corps.

Happy Birthday Brothers
And to absent friends. A toast

Semper Fi

Preacher

France

2005-11-08T05:59:00.000-05:00

Okay so France is burning. The difference this time is that its not the Germans doing the burning. Paris burning? Well not really, its not the bit of France that causes us all to sigh but the parts of France no one really wants to acknowledge, most of all the French. The difference is that these riots were not sparked by a disaster or a lack of food and water but a lacking much more insidious and pervasive. even if now being perpetuated by opportunists and youngsters looking for a fun night out, the root cause lies deeper. I wonder how a country that prides itself on its egalitarian liberal values is having such a problem? It seems to me that the French political bodies are more concerned with the worlds perception of France then the internal dynamics that make a country viable in a global economy. The dynamic I think is not that much different then that of the Islamic world. Consider this, the typical middle eastern Muslim has little hope of ever bettering his condition, the number of books translated into Arabic in the recent past is paltry. The economy of South Korea now exceeds that of the entire middle east. South Korea used to be on par with Egypt. So what does all this have to do with riots in France? Consider the source of the unrest. Why is it a desperate Palestinian can be incited to suicide bomb a bus stop of civilians? Why is it that a desperate Russian or eastern European peasant does not? The difference,I believe is hope, hope provided by a democratic, truly democratic system, hope born of a belief in equal opportunity, hope born that the system will treat you fairly even if those within it do not. Which leads to another question about France and hope. Why is it that all those North Africans, Muslims, Turks, Poles, Tajiks, Uzbeks are in France? The answer is again I believe hope. A hope that has been dashed decidedly by policies that have decreased the French competitiveness on the worlds economic stage.
I do not want to sound self righteous here, our day may well be coming...
*** Note The Pentagons New Map, by Thomas Barnett, If you want to fact check me. I could look up the exact numbers and pages but I dont think he'll sue me for not giving exact numbers and I now have a wonderful little girl to awaken.

Marathon Complete

2005-11-03T06:44:00.000-05:00

Done! Done, Done, Done Done, So Done!!! This my third and probably final Marathon was run on a brilliant day in DC. The weather was perfect, clear skies, light breeze, cool temps. Only problem the weather was so good everyone seemed to get dehydrated. It was without a doubt the hardest race I've run. By mile 12 I began to feel my legs, shuldn't have, by mile 18 I was in pain, by mile 23 I was in extreme pain which despite prior claims to the contrary was not extremely good. Nonetheless demonstrating again the triumph of Determination over intelligence I completed the race in 4:23 a mere two hours behind the winner! I'll catch him next year, wait didn't I just say there wasn't going to be a next year.
I also managed to make some really cool new friends, so I do wind up owing a debt of thanks to my bud, Pepe who chose the weekend I was to stay with him to elope and called me late the night I was to leave to tell me... However Rob and Kristen were champs and tolerated me not sleeping at all on Saturday, Up at 0530 on Sunday and then limping around the house all Sunday afternoon. Also champs were their two lovely daughters who were Sophies age and should they ever meet would be great friends. Heres to hoping someday they will. You guys are always welcome in Chapel Hill

Speaking of Courage

2005-10-16T21:09:00.000-04:00

Well hell, I guess I am going to have to go see it. The movie Jarhead comes out on the 4th of November and as I were one I guess there is just enough of the glutton for punishment in me to drive me into the theatre. OORAH

Courage

2005-10-13T14:22:00.000-04:00

Today I spoke to a class of high school students about courage. Not so much the courage of the fire fighter, the Marine or the person who resorts to superhuman feats in preservation of their own life, although we touched on those things. We talked more about moral courage, and integrity. It was a great discussion and you could see these kids get the ahah moment when they realized that lying, cheating or stealing is never a mistake its always a conscious choice, a decision made to advance personal gain at the expense of personal integrity.
I was asked what was the bravest thing I had ever done. It was without a doubt resigning from the Marine Corps, selling all I owned to allow my wife to pursue her dream of a graduate degree at Cambridge. I remember a discussion with her professor where he said to me "It's a very brave thing you are doing." I didnt give it much thought then. Now that I am divorced, a single father and in a different career. It occurs to me that he was right, just for the wrong reasons

Not gonna do it and you cant make me

2005-09-14T18:26:00.000-04:00

Several items in the news here as of late; 1) Hurricane Katrina nothing to add there yet, 2) Bob Denver has passed.This should be a day of national mourning., 3) The John Roberts confirmation hearings.
I for one find a symmatry in the last 2. Has anyone listened to the John Roberts confirmation hearings? I have... The man has got his act together I must say. He has been answering questions for two straight days from Senators who are fresh and have had forever to prepare their questions. My "Blink" suspicion is that he is less of an idealogue than he may seem and he will be reasoned and reasonable on the bench. Least that is my hope, years after Iraq has slipped into prosperity or civil war, years after New Orleans is being rebuilt in the same location for the second or third time, it is highly possible that John Roberts will be on the bench, shaping the future of American jurisprudence. He has been honest and intelligent in the face of those less so but whos egos allow them to overlook such facts. He has stymied repeated questions about his beliefs with the judicial equivelant of Gilligan's "I'm not gonna do it and you can't make me." While the hapless Gilligan was ultimately and always persuaded, Diane Feinstein and Ted Kennedy seem to lack the persuasive capabilities of Ginger and Mary Ann.
It is unfortunate that these hearings are on the heels of the greatest natural disaster in the United States this century it is further unfortunate that Bob Denver has passed, overshadowed by these events it is nonetheless a loss at a time when we could all do with a good laugh.
Cant you see him in red shirt and sailor cap standing on the shore of that uncharted isle declaring "Nope! I'm not going to do it and you cant make me!"
Good bye Little buddy...

Coldplay (Yawn...)

2005-09-12T15:15:00.000-04:00

Okay their Brits, Okay Chris dates one of the hottest women on the planet. Okay they did a great rendition of Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. Other than that they were, well, Okay. Maybe the view from the cheap seats wasn't so great, maybe the techno stage seemed a little to U-2. Maybe Chris Martin's awe shucks brit downhomme was endearing, but you know what at the end of the day all the music seems to be in the same time with the same beat no matter how hard they ahem "rocked out"
The high point of the evening was watching two elegantly dressed and coiffed girls fight to see who could throw up in the trash can first. Oh the things that pass for a good time.

Kids will say the damndest things

2005-09-07T22:28:00.000-04:00

I was struggling to recall why ships are referred to as she in response to a question from Sophie. She walked patiently beside me listening intently as I explained about language and the feminine and masculine and how ships carried feminine descriptors in the old days. I was trying hard to evade any of the contemporary definitions about, cost of upkeep, paint and powder, etc when she asked me quite innocently.
"Daddy could it possibly be because only so many men can get on before she sinks?"

Could be Sophie, Could be...

Data Point Friends We Need Those we don't

2005-09-07T22:11:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed the folks with something like 100 names in their day timer all of whom they call friends? Ever wonder how they keep up with all those folks? Ever wonder what a friend was and was not. Managing friendships seems to me to be about managing expectations as much as anything, for a friendship is nothing if not an unwritten contract between two people. Its when one side violates that friendships end, Usually.
Friends will help you move, real friends will help you move bodies. True friends will help you move the body then dope slap you from here to kingdom come for screwing up.
Most of what people call friends I call acquaintances. So the difference between a friend (acquaintance) and a true friend. Well in a man's case that test will come when one of you is being a complete bonehead and the other stands with his fingers in your chest and says, knowing full well that the outcomes range from a smile and a "yeah your right" to a trip to the hospital for one or both of you, or worse the end of the friendship or both. "You are being an ass, and I aint standing for it!" I hope I have been this friend to those that have been this friend to me.
For a woman? Near as I can tell its the girlfriend who will sit in the dressing room and tell you "yeah that bikini makes your ass look huge."

Chocolate and Zucchini

2005-08-30T21:08:00.000-04:00

Inspiration!

I have mentioned this blog before but now you have a link! I will also link to it from the side.
The main recipe I have borrowed from it is Salmon and leek quiche which was easy enough the second time.
While I have never been all that bad in the kitchen my lack of true culinary skill has been a bit frustrating. Conclusion, recipe's are not written for men.
That said I am getting adroit at actually dovetailing my meals so that all the courses come out hot simultaneously. Things your mom never told you, sheesh!
Sunday brought Chicken in wine sauce with Greek roasted lemon potatoes and a salad.
Monday brought Costolette alla pizzaiola. which was fantastic. Especially when followed with copious amounts of starbucks double coffee ice cream.

Tonight Soph and I made banana nut bread.

I have no business posting recipes on this blog so dont ask. See the link as she has forgotten more about food than I will ever hope to know.
The one exception I may make is Shrimp Peyraeous.

Reads and training

2005-08-29T21:00:00.000-04:00

Okay I promised some time ago to bring folks up to speed on what I am reading. After taking much abuse for not doing so here is a list although not comprehensive.
Blink and the Tipping Point
A Short History of Nearly Everything
The Pentagons New Map
Attitudes and Longitudes
The Map That Changed the World
The Known World
Slaughterhouse Five
The Little Prince

Marathon Training continues to go well with a run of twelve miles this Sunday. This despite a lack of training time earlier in the week due to other commitments. So I was short a total of fourteen miles this week. I ran all over Chapel hill Sunday to include Raleigh, Estes and MLK road to try to get some hills in. I am finding though that I am beginning to suffer a minor case of inclinus pussanoma. Hopefully this will abate as my body gets used to the longer distances.
I enjoyed the run and the fact that it wasn't so blasted hot meant I wasn't wringing my socks out at the end. This Weeks is runs of 4/6/4 and 14 on Sunday. Which given what plans are laid for me Saturday night ought to be a challenge.

C'est Lamore

2005-08-28T21:54:00.000-04:00

I watched recently as a past lover passed. She did not, could not, have seen me. I saw her, waiting at a light while I sipped my beer and talked with a colleague. She looked great and I was happy to see her look great I truly hope she is, truly. The light changed, she moved on with no way of knowing of my brief voyuerism. I turned to my colleague. "I'm sorry you were saying?"

Falling

We fall
over
on
into
We fall
from
flat
down
We fall
in love

So many things that fall describes are bad. Yet we use this expression with love. It sems idiotic yet I wouldn't mind skinning my knees just a bit...

Projects

2005-08-27T08:55:00.000-04:00

Finished! In a fit and flurry of activity and with the help of Papa Alpha (again). I managed to finish the bookshelves which were promptly ensconced in Soph's room. She set about turning them into a designer masterpiece. She may have a career as a curator of a national art museum somewhere. Philly Museum of art are you reading? (no I didn't think so).
Inspired by a Pottery Barn model which in the catalogue was $300 plus 50 shipping and handling, I thought, as any self respecting testosterone charged American male of modest ability should, "I can do that for much less."
So I bought pine shelving, plywood, glue, putty, paint, screws, rollers, sandpaper, table saw, sander, band aids, compresses and a trip to the doctors office and oh yeah my time which at a billing rate of 100$ an hour total cost $2432.31. The knowledge that I did it myself worthless, as I always knew I could. The smile on Soph's face as she rushed to populate it with dolls and books and nicks and nacks. Priceless.
All in all I had good fun building them and they came out really well.
So what's next?

T Day!

2005-08-23T16:29:00.000-04:00

Today is the day. The Soph returns from Europe! It will be Thursday before I see her, but just to know she is in the area is a lift. I have her bookshelves assembled and am putting paint on them they will be done and in her room by the time she comes to me Thursday. It is going to be a tough weekend as she will be jetlagged and tired from new school. I hope that she can adjust well. We are going to a water park this weekend, which ought to be a lot of fun.
Friends have rallied round for Sophie's homecoming, Big thanks to Papa Alpha for a squeaky clean house that I have managed to only slightly clutter up and to Janet for her help with the bookshelves color and paint.

Off to back to school night!

What Remains of the Day

2005-08-14T21:12:00.000-04:00

After running, showering and a full breakfast of eggs, bacon, fruit and coffee I decided to turn to on the Soph's bookshelves. They were just one of many unfinished projects and part and parcel of my being out of sorts with myself here lately. Further it is now officially T-9 and I want them done before she gets home. It was one way of filling this empty space that exists where she should be.

So I gathered my tools, toolbelt, shorts, boots, lumber and set about cutting, sanding and assembling. There will be pictures when assembled.
They are house shaped and have three shelves with dividers. There were a fair number of miteres so it took a bit longer than expected, but what doesn't.

I managed to get them assembled prior to a threatening thunderstorm that never materialized, showered and went over to Koen's for dinner. Following which I came home and cleaned the house.

Not a bad days work. Now I'm off to watch Osama and read Blink.

More on what I'm reading later.

Marathon Training Week 6

2005-08-14T17:31:00.000-04:00

The week goes well. The training schedule was 3/5/3 and the the long run of ten miles today.
We weren't able to get a babysitter for Koen's kids so we needed to alternate. I ran first starting at 0600. I ran the Bolin Creek trail to MLK, climbing the long hill towards the Carolina Inn. The day was warm though not yet hot. I started easily allowing the legs to warm up , my breathing to regulate and may pace to settle in. I rounded the Carolina Inn and headed through campus down the long hill on Raleigh road turning right down golf course road, looping back to 54, reversing my course and then running through the Oaks, past the soccer Fields on Cleland, back to Estes and the city park. The total run took just under eighty minutes. A good Marathon pace. I was done by 0740.
I then watched the kids while Koen ran his ten miles. I was a bit concerned about him going that distance on his own as he had struggled the past week. However, half way through his run I took the kids and some water out to the trail and we did the wave and cheered and handed him some water, he brightened noticably. Sure enough he finished in good order. My confidence in his ability to finish a marathon has soared. I took them to Driade for some lemonade and there ran into Mike Troy of He's Not Here (in) Fame.

What did you do this morning?

Wait Wait its Barack Obama

2005-08-11T09:35:00.000-04:00

Okay kiddies Barack Obama gets my vote, for any office which he would, could or ever should choose to run. Not because he is a democrat; he'll get my vote despite that (not that I am a hard core republican, I'm registered independent and hoping for the silent middle majority to rear its head) Not because he is insanely articulate, insanely intelligent, nor because he is insanely good looking (well okay except maybe in that really repressed corner of my childhood) Nor because he has a phenomenal life story. All that is nice to have but any past plethora of presidents indicate that those alone does not a good president make.

No, Mr Obama well get my vote because he has a sense of humor and big brass ones to back it up. If you missed Wait Wait this weekend well then you missed it. If you can find a replay of the broadcast then go listen.
Here a junior senator, jokes about opening the mail, sharpening pencils and fetching coffee in the U.S. Senate. Rails against the phony self esteem of eigth grade graduations. "Graduating to what? Graduating to sit your butt down and study for four more years! Then maybe we'll talk about accomplishments!" Thank you sir for a little sanity in the self esteem earned vs birthright issue.
Finally he gets my vote for the following. While playing a game where he was asked about Wade Boggs (a famously supersticious baseball player) The question was asked about what behavior Boggs insisted on during games to make him play better. The answer was, of course, that his mistress appear "comando" at the games. The commentator remarked that "Apparently the first time this happened Boggs went four for five that night."
To which Obama quipped "You mean at the plate right?"
Yep that man gets my vote!

55000 hunnhhh???

2005-08-11T06:27:00.000-04:00

Well just when you think you've gotten slightly ahead in the rat race, the bastards tie your shoelaces together.
Here's a question for you. How is it that a single guy living alone with a normal water usage of 1400 gallons per month could suddenly use 55000 gallons? While on vacation for ten days??? There is no leak I checked.

So lets do some simple math shall we? 55000/30=1833 gal/day 1833/24=76.375 gal/hour
=1.27 gal/min.
News flash. A tap running wide open barely does that. Again, I checked.
Now the only period of time I have unaccounted for is 10 days so multiply the above numbers by three.

Where'd it go???
BTW that water bill could easily hit 1600 bucks.
The last thing OWASA said to me. "Have a Nice Day"

Musical Bookends

2005-08-08T06:07:00.000-04:00

After a highly mediocre week at work and things being only to the left of that elsewhere, by Friday I had "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Greenday on repeat. "I walk a lonely road, dont know where it goes, but I walk alone..."
So by Friday I felt very much at the bottom of a steep hill with a heavy load and no choice but to climb. So as I have always done, I grouched a bit, shouldered my pack put my head down and as Nozzle would say "ready plod!" Sometimes you just have to put one foot in front of the other and have some faith that you'll get there.
The weekend brought an evening out on Friday, listening to good music and a good meal at Patio Loco, ably attended by Gina.
Saturday brought a work out and a full days work, punctuated by lunch at Tupelos with Chris which stretched to two hours. By the end of the day I had made enough to take care of my lawn and get a maid for the year. So no more slaving away on my off weekends. I am going to perfect the art of lounging on Sundays, walking around in a sheet if anything.
Also of note on Saturday, Laura Brennen dropped me a line from HAwaii. Laura, whom I've known for 14 years as the girlfriend and wife of my old roomate Jim Brennan, is expecting twin girls in September. Jim is currently deployed to Iraq and is do back in time for the birth. It was great to hear from her and know that all is well. It was also a source of some humor that Jim will be getting twin girls, and we all know why. Because he deserves it.
Sunday the plodding seemed to be bringing results, Koen and I ran eight miles. I ran really well and felt great. The only issue is a recurring blister under a toenail. If I am lucky I will lose it before the race.
After the run I bought and assembled a table saw, cut the grass, cleaned the house, cut the boards for Sophies bookshelves, bought groceries, rented two movies (Osama and I vetelloni by Fellini).
Cleaned up feeling much better I had a dinner of Steak on the grill, a salad of spinach, almonds and strawberries with rasberry balsamic and some excellent pasta with crumbled goat cheese all accompanied by an excellent australian shiraz of which I minded my limits and didn't drink it all (for once). This was followed by listening to music and reading on the couch until I fell asleep.
So this morning 0500 up and aware after a full nights unaided sleep!
A workout has gotten the blood flowing and my energy up so its off to fight the dragon again this week.
Oh and on the cd player this morning Tubthumping by Chubawamba.
"I get knocked down, but I get up again. Aint never gonna keep me down...!"

I know a girl, she puts the color inside of my world

2005-08-05T04:10:00.000-04:00

It is now T+7 and the world has been a touch grey here lately.
This image was created from nothing, by the girl in the darkroom while at an afterschool program. She calls it Catching Falling leaves. I call it brilliant!
Its amazing how they look at the world, and looking at this today (its my screensaver) I have decided that its about time to start counting down to her return (S-21)! Its all in how you look at things!
I have a lot to do to get ready for her return, but I am now highly motivated to do so. I am grateful for the experiences she gets to have, her travels and adventures. I look forward to hearing about all of them, after dinner and a bath, sitting on the edge of her bed with my hand on her stomach as she nods and smiles with her bright wide eyes. So with thanks to John Mayer and Kat...
Yes.. I know a girl, she puts the color inside of my world....
So fathers be good to your daughters. Daughters will Love like you do...
Gotta go

Ya gotta decide

2005-08-05T03:16:00.000-04:00

Well sometimes you have to decide, do I keep trying to sleep or do I get up. Well up it is at 0300 this morning. Groan... No surprise though after a wonderful dinner with Janet, owner of Found Objects, Laura owner of Reba and Roses and Tommy, owner of just about everything else. We had great margaritas and good conversation. I ordered a Steak picado con salsa verde, expecting a green tomato salsa. Instead I got a jalepeno salsa, made my nose run and the top of my head hot, much to the delight of my dinner guests.
No wonder I can't sleep, I should have gotten up and read some more of Bill Bryson's "A Short History of Nearly Everything" that probably would have done the trick.
P.S. yeah that's eastern time and its correct

Training

2005-08-04T18:13:00.000-04:00

Marathon training progresses apace despite the heat and the constraints of work. Soon it will get more difficult to find time as Sophie returns. Furtunately I now have access to a shower in Hillsborough so I can run during the day on days I have Sophie. The training program I am using is from 'The Non-Runners Marathon Guide" by Davit Whitsett. It has served me well for my first two marathons.
Koen continues to slog along and is doing well despite the heat. Our training schedule will have us up to 8 miles this Sunday.
Given all that has been going on I am glad to be running the longer distances. Last night was a run of five miles. The first two miles were fairly typical, small talk with Koen, finding the pace, feeling the muscles loosen and warm. Then the focus comes, when the body remembers and you quit hearing your footfalls, the sound of your breathing, you quit thinking about breath, stride and pace. You quit thinking. You pick a spot in front of you and watch as it nears with every step as you settle in for the longer distance. The world goes quiet and the stride becomes effortless. This is a wonderful release, clearing the mind as all the little annoyances and troubles run off with every bead of sweat. I am looking forward to eight miles on Sunday.

Why I don't wine. Another attempt to avoid the diary blog

2005-08-03T05:41:00.000-04:00

Okay I am sick and tired of hearing about Sideways and wine and the fact that the movie gets it. Gets what? Gets that its okay to be a narcissistic underachiever, who over indulges, self indulges and waxes poorly poetic about nirvana in a bottle. That's not art that's addiction. Further, its nothing but a warmed over wine snob version of other wayward boy comes of age movies. But I digress.
My problem is not with wine perse but with the expectations that come with it. If you somehow manage to serve a decent bottle of wine, you are also expected to be able to tell which hand was used to pick the grapes. Fact is, everything I know about wine would fit on the back of a business card and is simply this "Jen Barger, Hillsborough Wine Company."
Want to dazzle your friends, impress the boss, the in laws the new girl or boy friend? I have found this a much much better route to wine aficianadodum (dodum! That ought to be a word of its own!) Simply go see Jen.
To those of you who don't know Jen she is charming, cute and exceedingly knowledgeable about wine. She can determine what to serve with what your eating, why it will work, conversely why what you thought you wanted won't. "And Oompah. Loompah, Dupity Der if you are smart you'll listen to her! (sorry I couldn't find the audio clip before work.)
So I don't feel the urge to go to any special lengths to learn about wine, hell its a full time job on its own and who has the time? I know Jen and I will absorb what I need through osmosis, god knows I buy enough wine from her.
And when asked about the vintage, the year, the vinter, I simply hand out Jen's card and say "Here now you know everything I do, and the difference between you and me is that I'll never worry about it again"

Note to Todd, however much your paying her, its not enough!

Why We're Different

2005-08-02T07:21:00.000-04:00

LtCol Dave Bardoff's wife has started the Semper Fi Fund, designed to releive the families of injured Marines from some of the Financial Pressures of caring for their wounded Marine. For those that are familiar with the Marines this will touch your heart. For those not it may may increase your understanding, for me it sat me down and brought tears. The link for the story is NPR.

Semper Fi
"Preacher"

Wee Binder

2005-08-01T07:08:00.000-04:00

Does the fact that you dont remember how you got home necessarily mean you've drank too much????

A question not worth considering. At least not through the current fog...

In the Orbit of Greatness

2005-07-30T13:18:00.000-04:00

I am in the orbit of greatness, a fact I have long suspected. I take credit for this in the same sense that the Earth takes credit for orbiting the sun. Nonetheless like the Earth I will bask contendedly in the glow.

I define my perception of greatness thus. Any of you who have been in the car with me, around me and a radio in the morning, afternoon or evening for that matter, will know that greatness means you have appeared on NPR. This morning I was removed from greatness by three steps for the second time. The first was a feature interview with Professor Riley Smith of Cambridge University, whom I have met and was my wifes advisor while at Cambridge. That alone was enough to prompt a call to the ex. This morning marks the second time. After a sleepless night (more on that later) I am in bed, sipping coffee, trying to get the motivation to go to work when morning edition interviews a young Parisian, Clotilde Dusoulier, the author of the blog Chocolate and Zucchini. Now how can I be in the orbit of a young Parisian with a food blog? Well Katherine has a friend Katie with a wonderful blog in the sense of an American in Paris. Having read Katies blog she is flying in the face of her academic critics and is in my opinion, well on her way to her own feature on NPR. Katie linked directly to Miss Dusoulier's blog well in advance of this NPR story. This makes her a WEB Maven (read the Tipping Point people). I claim orbit of such a Maven and thereby Miss Dusoulier, although in the same sense that 2003UB313 claims to orbit the Sun, another feature story on NPR this morning.

Brain Freeze and Thunderstorms

2005-07-28T22:57:00.000-04:00

T-1, tomorrow Sophie leaves for Europe. It will be hard to see her go, over the past weeks we have grown much closer and she now opens up to me in a way that before she seemed hesitant to. We talk, meaningfully, I no longer feel like an after thought in her life. I will miss her.

Tonight we had dinner and took her to see some friends, then went to Coldstone for some ice cream. While there, a thunderstorm rolled in so we sat in the car listening to the Gorillas, or more correctly listening to one song over and over and over and over. I turned the car off and we sat together in the dark watching the lightning and listening to the rain. I have always loved storms, an appreciation still lost on my seven year old. But she indulged me with only one question and an its okay daddy. So we sat there quietly with the sound of the storm and the quiet scrape of spoons against Styrafoam, getting ice cream headaches. Then she started telling stupid jokes... Hoorah! an appreciation and a talent! I may yet have an influence and a legacy!

She's getting better though I must say.

What are catapillers afraid of? Dogapillers
What do Sharks eat with peanut butter? Jellyfish!

This and she can recite several Shell Silverstein poems from memory.

So tomorrow I will bundle her off to camp, have my usual day at work, collect her, then deliver her to the ex's parents for her trip. Afterwards I have a bottle of wine and some cheese to enjoy quietly on the deck. If it rains all the better. I'll put a straw in the wine bottle and sit in the rain watching the lightning. After the heat of the past couple of days it will be welcome. I will reflect and I am sure I will find a data point.

Speaking of data points

This is the time of year when in two consecutive years, comrades and good friends of mine were killed in separate aviation accidents, it is an added layer of remorse that comes on these anniversaries. So I will toast to each of them and quietly let them know they are not forgotten. To absent friends...

So enough, August is here the concert season is gearing up and I am hot after some Stones tickets and Greenday as well, will see what My Concierge dregs up tomorrow.

Travel plans are shaping up nicely as well. I have to be in Charlotte for three days of fun in the belle of the south. In Charleston, My buddy Noz is fresh back from a successful summit of the Matterhorn. You bitch! You owe me, so we are going flying! I could use some g's and to watch the world twirl a little bit... Then much drinking in downtown Charleston. September will bring St Louis and with any luck the Cards will be playing while I'm there. That's always a good time.

England in February for a wedding. Just one question here. Who the hell gets married in England in February. Its bloody cold and dark. My buddy Bob that's who, but he's dark and his fiance is well... (Note: In fairness this is not at all substantiated as I've never me the woman, but I thought it might prompt a phone call which no matter how enraged would be better than none at all. While I could Say that his fiance is dark and he is cold.... mmmm see the last post and maybe I'm just not secure enough right now to do that.... One thing she'll have to be is Patient, compassionate, understanding, forgiving, oh wait that's a lot of things)

In other startling developments "Blitz" called out of the blue. I haven't seen him since his wife was pregnant. His daughter is now 13. 13 my god! Good to hear from you bud. It was like we never lost touch. One more guy to call should I ever need help moving a body!

Training for the marathon goes well. 5 miles in 102 heat on Wednesday and 3 in the middle of the day today. News flash folks there is a reason its called Hillsborough!

In relationship news a new one showed up yesterday. I put Sophie to bed and then went and sat on the couch, where she joined me reclined her head in my lap, looked up at me with those big blue eyes as I stroked her soft hair, she stretched luxuriantly, placing one paw on my chest and began to purr.

That's right I am boarding a cat... As cats go this one is not bad, friendly as hell, damn sharp claws though.
I guess I'll be buying mauve and salmon whatever it is next, I can already feel the testosterone fleeing my body....

2005-07-27T08:15:00.000-04:00

T-3 and Counting...

It is Wednesday morning and again I am awake for no reason fathomable, rather then elect to lie in bed staring at the ceiling I am up with coffee and NPR and will work out following this post.

What is T-3? Today is Wednesday. Sophie leaves for Europe Friday. I will have the month of August to myself. Super! A chance to get things done, to catch up on a myriad of unfinished projects. Super! A chance to really put my shoulder to the grindstone at work. Super! A chance to work out a lot. Super! I can walk around naked, sleep in, eat whenever and whatever I want. Travel, see friends... Super! I get to walk past the open door to a quiet room with its stuffed animals and its abandoned toys and its empty bed. Super! I don't have to lay next to her and feel her arm around my neck as she falls a sleep and says I love you daddy... Super. I will come home to my now empty house and thrash about with my books and my work not having to go swing or go swimming or play hide and seek or have dessert after brushing my teeth... Super. I don't have to read with her until I fall asleep and she turns out the lights. Super! I don't have to wake her in the morning with my hand on her back sitting quietly while I feel the rise and fall of her breathe until I kiss her and say "sweetheart, its time to get up. To which she groans and stretches and asks "please daddy a few more minutes" Which, no matter how late I always give her. Super! I don't have to listen to her voice, her laughter, her amazement with every new thing she discovers. Super! I don't have to go to friends or birthday parties or play dates or bike riding or kick a soccer ball or do art projects or bake together.

Yep its all just really super and it is a rope that tightens a little bit more each day around my chest. Emotions that I can never let her see. And I don't even to get to make tea or iron shirts in the morning, who'd have thought I would ever miss that, but I do.

Maybe I'll just close the door....

2005-07-27T00:21:00.000-04:00

What do we want...

Tonight while watching Mulan with my daughter the characters broke into song as they were heading off to battle. "What do we want? A girl worth fighting for!"

Indeed

2005-07-26T08:40:00.000-04:00

It's no fun until someone loses an eye

And as it was, with all those moving parts, bound to happen. And as it was I am glad that someone was me.

Another crap night of sleep down at 1130 last look at the clock 0330 up at 0530. If I have learned one thing in the past six months it is the joy of sleeping in and lounging. A skill I will attempt to perfect this Sunday.

2005-07-25T21:03:00.000-04:00

Data Points

Throughout our lives we get data points, most are mundane and soon forgotten, some are forgotten yet form an etching in our subconscious which will shape our behavior in later life. Some are juggernauts, battleships of experience, that upset your world, alter your reality and send you to a rock somewhere for a couple of days to dissect what you just learned about yourself and your world.

So what is a data point. You get a data point the first time you see birth, the first time you see death, the first time you feel love and the first time you feel loss. You get a data point the first time you judge someone by their appearance to your shame. In my life I have had numerous little data points, but in mine as I suspect in most, I can count the juggernauts on one hand.

So this will be about data points, and the day to day events that are life as well. should anyone read, you are welcome to contribute. But primarily this will be of data points in my life, and those close enough to me to be intimate with their souls.